Finding Yourself Amid the Chaos: How to Create Space in Your Busy World

As a therapist, I often hear from clients overwhelmed by the sheer weight of their responsibilities. One client, whom I’ll call Janine (not her real name), recently shared her struggles during a session. Janine is a dedicated professional with a demanding career, a mother of two active kids, a wife trying to nurture her marriage, and a daughter caring for aging parents with growing needs.

She appeared on my screen during our virtual session, looking drained, her shoulders sagging under an invisible yet undeniable load. "I feel like I'm always running, but I'm never getting anywhere," she confessed. "I can't remember the last time I did something just for me."

Her story isn’t unique. It’s a reality for so many of us. Society often celebrates self-sacrifice, especially for women and even more for Black women, but at what cost? When your calendar is filled to the brim, your energy is stretched thin, and your own well-being is left on the back burner, how do you create space to breathe, reflect, and simply be?

This blog is about finding that space—not by magically adding hours to the day but by intentionally reclaiming moments of peace and prioritizing yourself amid life’s chaos.

The Challenge of Creating Space

In today’s fast-paced world, we are bombarded with demands—from work emails that never stop to caregiving roles that tug at our hearts and our time. For many women, these roles come with an unspoken expectation to do it all, do it perfectly, and never complain.

Scientific research backs up the toll this can take. A study by Matud (2004) found that women report higher levels of stress compared to men, often due to their multiple caregiving roles. Chronic stress doesn’t just drain energy—it impacts physical health, emotional well-being, and cognitive functioning.

Janine’s story highlights a common trap: the belief that taking time for yourself is selfish. She told me, “I just don’t see how I can fit myself into the equation when everyone else depends on me.” But here’s the truth: You can’t pour from an empty cup!

Strategies for Creating Space in Your Busy World

Creating space for yourself isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity. Here are strategies to help you carve out time and energy, even when life feels overwhelming.

1. Set Clear Boundaries

Boundaries are your best ally in creating space. They protect your time, energy, and mental well-being.

When Janine and I explored her weekly schedule, we discovered she often said “yes” to commitments out of guilt or obligation. She agreed to host family gatherings, take on extra projects at work, and even volunteered for school events—all on top of her already packed schedule.

Actionable Tip: Start saying “no” without guilt. Choose one area of your life where you’ll begin practicing boundaries. For example, limit work emails after 6 p.m. or delegate caregiving tasks to siblings or other family members.

Research Insight: Studies show that setting boundaries can reduce stress and prevent burnout (Bakker & Demerouti, 2007).

2. Reimagine Self-Care

For many busy individuals, self-care feels like an unattainable ideal. But self-care doesn’t have to be a spa day or a weekend getaway—it can be as simple as five minutes of deep breathing or enjoying a cup of tea in silence.

When Janine reframed self-care as small, intentional acts, she began to integrate it into her day. She started a morning ritual of journaling for five minutes before waking up her kids.

Actionable Tip: Identify a small self-care practice you can integrate into your daily routine. Start small—whether it’s a five-minute stretch, listening to your favorite song, or writing down three things you’re grateful for. If you need help, check out my book Cultivating Inner Peace for bite-sized self-care support

Research Insight: Mindfulness-based practices, even in short durations, have been shown to reduce stress and improve emotional well-being (Kabat-Zinn, 2003).

3. Prioritize What Truly Matters

Janine often felt torn between competing priorities. Together, we worked on identifying what mattered most to her. Through a values exercise I frequently use with my clients, she discovered that spending quality time with her family and maintaining her health were her top values.

By focusing on these core values, she realized she could let go of other tasks that didn’t align with her priorities, like overcommitting at work or saying yes to social obligations out of politeness.

Actionable Tip: Reflect on your core values. Write down three areas of your life that are most important to you. Use these as a guide when deciding how to spend your time and energy.

Journaling Prompt: What would your ideal day look like if you were fully aligned with your values?

4. Create Sacred Space in Your Day

Life’s demands won’t go away, but you can create sacred pockets of time that belong to you.

Janine started scheduling 15 minutes of “me time” during her lunch break. She used it to sit in her car, listen to calming music, and recharge before heading back to work.

Actionable Tip: Block off time on your calendar each day for uninterrupted personal space. Treat it as a non-negotiable appointment with yourself. (I am currently spending my "me time" reading novels or doing mystery puzzles)

Research Insight: Scheduling personal time has been shown to improve productivity and overall life satisfaction (Allen et al., 2014).

5. Seek Support

You don’t have to navigate life’s challenges alone. For Janine, reaching out to her siblings for help with caregiving and having honest conversations with her husband about shared responsibilities made a huge difference.

Actionable Tip: Identify one area where you could use support. Ask a trusted friend, family member, or colleague for help.

If you’re ready to reclaim your space and prioritize your inner peace, join my free Path to Freedom workshop on Wednesday, January 15, 2025, from 7-8:15 PM. Together, we’ll explore tools to help you break free from the overwhelm and create a life that feels more balanced and aligned. 

The Freedom to Choose Yourself

At the heart of creating space is the willingness to choose yourself. As I often remind my clients, you’re not abandoning your responsibilities—you’re ensuring you have the capacity to show up fully for them.

Janine’s journey wasn’t easy, but it was transformative. By setting boundaries, prioritizing her needs, and letting go of the pressure to be everything to everyone, she began to feel lighter, more centered, and more present in her life.

You can do the same. It starts with a decision to reclaim your time and energy. Remember, the path to freedom begins with small, intentional steps.

Let’s take that step together. Sign up for my free Path to Freedom workshop or schedule a connect call to learn how this program can support you in creating the space you deserve.

References

• Allen, T. D., Herst, D. E., Bruck, C. S., & Sutton, M. (2014). Consequences associated with work-to-family conflict: A review and agenda for future research. Journal of Occupational Health Psychology, 5(2), 278–308.

• Bakker, A. B., & Demerouti, E. (2007). The Job Demands-Resources model: State of the art. Journal of Managerial Psychology, 22(3), 309–328.

• Kabat-Zinn, J. (2003). Mindfulness-based interventions in context: Past, present, and future. Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice, 10(2), 144–156.

• Matud, M. P. (2004). Gender differences in stress and coping styles. Personality and Individual Differences, 37(7), 1401–1415.