Breaking Free: How Black Women Can Reclaim Control from Systemic Racism and Sexism
Oct 23, 2024
As a therapist, I’ve had the privilege of walking alongside many Black women in their journeys to personal freedom. One particular client, whom I’ll call Keisha (not her real name), came to me feeling exhausted and frustrated. A talented, highly educated professional, she had built a solid career, but she couldn’t shake the sense that her efforts were never truly acknowledged. She spoke of constant microaggressions at work, the pressures of managing her household, and a deep, lingering feeling that no matter how hard she worked, she would never be truly seen or valued.
Keisha’s story is one I hear often—variations of it echoing in the lives of Black women across all walks of life. We often find ourselves fighting battles on multiple fronts: systemic racism, sexism, and the societal expectations that tell us to be "strong" even when we’re at our breaking point.
It was through our conversations and her work on reflecting where she felt restricted that Keisha began to see a path forward. The systems around her weren’t going to change overnight, but she could reclaim control in key areas of her life. And that’s what I want to explore in this blog: the unique challenges Black women face due to systemic racism and sexism, and how we can begin to break free from these invisible but powerful chains.
The Intersection of Racism and Sexism: A Double Bind
Black women occupy a unique position at the intersection of race and gender. We face the combined pressures of systemic racism and sexism, a phenomenon coined as misogynoir*—the specific form of prejudice that Black women experience.
Research has consistently shown that Black women face higher rates of discrimination in the workplace than their white counterparts. A report from LeanIn.org (2019) revealed that only 58% of Black women feel supported at work, compared to 83% of white women. Similarly, Black women are underrepresented in leadership positions across industries, and the pay gap for Black women remains significant. According to the National Women’s Law Center (2022), Black women make only 67 cents for every dollar earned by white men.
Internalized Racism and Sexism: The Burden of Expectation
Beyond these external barriers, many of us carry internalized beliefs shaped by systemic racism and sexism. We’ve been conditioned to believe (even though it is often true) that we must work twice as hard to get half as far. We’re often expected to be the caretakers for our families and communities while suppressing our own emotional needs. This “strong Black woman” stereotype may seem empowering on the surface, but it can lead to burnout, anxiety, and feelings of inadequacy when we fall short of these impossible standards.
Studies suggest that Black women are disproportionately affected by high levels of stress. According to the American Psychological Association (2017), Black women report higher stress levels than any other demographic group in the United States, often stemming from racial discrimination, financial stress, and the multiple roles they are expected to play.
Recognizing Where We Feel Restricted
As Keisha and I worked together, one of the first steps we took was identifying where she felt most restricted. For her, it was the constant pressure to be perfect at work and home. For others, it might be the way they downplay their own needs in relationships or the way they shrink themselves to avoid being labeled "angry" or "difficult" in social settings.
One tool I’ve developed in my practice is a simple worksheet designed to help Black women reflect on where they feel restricted. It encourages introspection in key areas of life: career, relationships, health, and personal fulfillment. Identifying these areas is the first step toward reclaiming personal freedom.
Reclaiming Control: Small Shifts, Big Changes
While systemic change is essential and long overdue, personal change is something we can control. Here are a few strategies to begin reclaiming control in areas where we feel restricted:
1. Challenge Limiting Beliefs
Keisha believed that she needed to be perfect to be successful, a mindset shaped by years of systemic oppression. We worked on reframing this belief by focusing on her inherent worth rather than her productivity. One powerful exercise is to write down your limiting beliefs and challenge them with evidence that contradicts them. For example, if you believe you have to be "perfect," reflect on the times when being authentic and true to yourself has served you better.
2. Set Boundaries
Black women often feel the pressure to say "yes" to everything, both at work and home. But setting boundaries is a key step in reclaiming your freedom. Start small by identifying areas where you feel overextended and practice saying "no" or delegating tasks. Setting boundaries is not selfish; it’s an essential act of self-preservation.
3. Lean on Your Community
Many Black women feel isolated in predominantly white or male-dominated environments. Finding a supportive community can be a powerful antidote to this isolation. Whether it’s a group of like-minded friends, a professional network, or a mentor, surrounding yourself with people who understand your experiences can provide a source of strength and validation.
4. Engage in Radical Self-Care
For Black women, self-care is not a luxury; it’s a radical act of resistance. Audre Lorde famously said, “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.” Self-care doesn’t have to be expensive or time-consuming. It can be as simple as taking 10 minutes each day to meditate, journal, or take a walk. Prioritizing your mental and emotional health is crucial in reclaiming your freedom.
5. Seek Therapy or Coaching
Systemic oppression can create deep wounds that are difficult to heal on your own. Therapy or coaching can provide a safe space to explore these wounds and develop strategies for healing and growth. Working with a therapist who understands the unique challenges faced by Black women can be incredibly transformative. I’ve seen it firsthand with clients like Keisha, who, through therapy, began to see the power she held in shaping her own narrative.
Scientific Support for the Impact of Racism and Sexism
The psychological toll of racism and sexism on Black women is well-documented in the scientific literature. A study published in Health Psychology (2020) found that the chronic stress associated with racial discrimination can lead to poor mental and physical health outcomes for Black women. This stress, often referred to as "racial battle fatigue," manifests in symptoms such as anxiety, depression, and hypertension.
Moreover, the intersectionality of racism and sexism exacerbates these challenges. Research published in the Journal of Counseling Psychology (2019) highlighted the importance of addressing both racial and gender-based discrimination in therapy to promote healing for Black women.
Suggestions for Moving Forward
To start reclaiming your personal freedom, consider the following steps:
- Reflect on Where You Feel Stuck: Use the Discover Your Personal Freedom worksheet as a tool to pinpoint the areas of your life where you feel restricted.
- Reframe Limiting Beliefs: Challenge the internalized narratives that hold you back.
- Set Clear Boundaries: Protect your time and energy by learning to say “no” without guilt.
- Prioritize Self-Care: Engage in daily acts of self-preservation, whether through meditation, exercise, or rest.
- Find Support: Connect with a therapist or a trusted community that understands your unique challenges.
The Path to Freedom
At the end of the day, reclaiming personal freedom as a Black woman is about recognizing that while the systems around us may be oppressive, we still have agency over our own lives. We can make small, intentional choices to protect our mental health, prioritize our well-being, and redefine success on our own terms.
If you’re ready to take that first step, I encourage you to download the Discover Your Personal Freedom Worksheet. It’s designed to help you reflect on where you feel most restricted and guide you in making meaningful changes.
Keisha’s journey wasn’t easy, but she’s in a much better place now—setting boundaries, speaking up for herself at work, and embracing her worth outside of external validation. You, too, can begin to break free from the weight of systemic racism and sexism and reclaim control of your life.
Ready to reclaim your personal freedom? Start with reflection. Click HERE to download the Discover Your Personal Freedom worksheet, or complete it online HERE to start your journey today.
*The term "misogynoir" was coined by Dr. Moya Bailey, a Black feminist scholar, in 2010. It specifically describes the unique form of prejudice that Black women face at the intersection of racism and sexism.
References
American Psychological Association. (2017). Stress in America: The state of our nation. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.
LeanIn.org. (2019). Women in the workplace 2019. Retrieved from https://leanin.org/women-in-the-workplace-report-2019.
National Women’s Law Center. (2022). The wage gap: Black women. Retrieved from https://nwlc.org/resource/the-wage-gap-black-women.
References
American Psychological Association. (2017). Stress in America: The state of our nation. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.
LeanIn.org. (2019). Women in the workplace 2019. Retrieved from https://leanin.org/women-in-the-workplace-report-2019.
National Women’s Law Center. (2022). The wage gap: Black women. Retrieved from https://nwlc.org/resource/the-wage-gap-black-women.
