Reading the story of another survivor’s “long road from surviving to thriving” can help survivors at the begging of such a road find strength and faith. Reading the same story can help those who have never been victims understand that the hardest part is often not leaving but all that comes after one has left. [...]
Things that are ridged, like glass, break under pressure. Things that are flexible, like a tree, stretch and give under pressure so that they can return to their original shape when the pressure has passed. The glass and the tree do not get to choose what they will be but as a person you have [...]
Last night I spoke for the first time as a domestic violence survivor and a healer. It has been challenging to admit that I was once a victim even with all my years of training as a psychologist. However, I believe that it can be comforting, inspiring, and helpful to know that I have not [...]
Remember, people will judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold — but so does a hard-boiled egg. ~ Anonymous
Feel what you feel, but watch what you do. Although your feelings cannot be controlled the actions you take because of your emotions are in your control. Let your emotions inform, not control your actions. When in doubt talk it out. If you are not sure what to do, talk it over with a trusted [...]
Self-Confidence Journal exercise: Getting reconnected with your gifts
Make a list of all of your gifts, all of the abilities that are especially yours. If you don’t remember what they are then think back to your childhood, adolescence, and early adulthood. What did you enjoy doing? Singing, dancing, drawing? How did you like to express yourself? [...]
Rain beats a leopard’s skin, but it does not wash out the spots. ~ African proverb, Ashanti of Ghana
Much like the rain, domestic violence is a constant assault. Even when you are not being physically or emotionally abused, the fear of the next event can wear you down. Being worn down and worn out does not erase who you are. The journey to rediscovering yourself starts with one little step.
Find a way [...]
A large component of healing is time. You cannot expect to feel better in an instant. However, time alone is often insufficient for true and lasting healing. Work is also necessary. This may mean working to find a new perspective about an experience. It may mean processing painful thoughts. However, the gift of time helps [...]
It isn’t for the moment you are struck that you need courage, but for the long uphill climb back to sanity and faith and security.
~ Anne Morrow Lindbergh
Living with domestic violence is hard. Recovering from domestic violence is harder. People not in domestic violence relationships often don’t understand why people stay in a domestic violence relationships or why it takes so long to leave. As horrible as most domestic violence relationships are, for the victims they become familiar and [...]
If you cut a caterpillar out of its cocoon before it finishes the process of becoming a butterfly it will die. It is necessary for the butterfly to struggle out of the cocoon. The process forces blood into the new butterfly’s wings enabling it to fly.
Transformation is a painful possess. No one likes pain but [...]