Abusers and victims often misunderstand jealousy as a sign of love. Jealously is a feeling that arises when you suspect your partner in a relationship is being unfaithful or when you feel like your rights to something you own are being challenged. Healthy relationships are built on trust. Until you have given a partner a [...]
The Batterer as Parent
by Lundy Bancroft and Jay Silverman, (2002) Sage Publications, Inc
This book illuminates the effects of domestic violence on children and the importance of the mother’s healing and empowerment in children’s emotional wellbeing. This book also fully covers issues of post-separation parenting. Bandcroft and Silverman provide invaluable information to assist parents in making [...]
We achieve inner health only through forgiveness – the forgiveness not only of others but also of ourselves. ~ Joshua Loth Liebman
Victims often blame themselves for being victims. As long as you are angry with yourself or hold on to self-hatred you are still a victim. In order to be truly free you must not only forgive your abuser but also yourself. This is the key to victory.
Forgive yourself for being a victim so you can [...]
For some children who live with domestic violence school becomes a place of peace and safety. Yenthl and her mother Maria escaped domestic violence but then lived for two year staying in shelters or living in their minivan. Despite the challenges of domestic violence and spending the last year and a half of high school [...]
Now through June 30th, 2011, women ages 18 to 34 are invited to apply for a chance to have a documentary made of their domestic violence story. Mary Kay Cosmetics is partnering with celebrities, actress JoAnna Garcia Swisher the first to be announced, to help aspiring filmmakers, create documentaries to help fight against the number one [...]
Susan Bird-Winbun lost her infant twins to domestic violence. Savannah and Tyler Yates where killed by their father, David Yates, after she left him because he was abusive to her. Bird-Winbun says she is “speaking out is to save people from living with the blame that I carry on myself. I am speaking so people [...]
The majority of my patients are trauma survivors. Some of my patients are the significant others of those who have been abused. Therapy can be a wonderful place to work through feelings about the abuse of a loved one. I often use the self-help book that I often use “Trust after Trauma,” by Aphrodite Matsakis, [...]
Self-Confidence Journal exercise: Getting reconnected with your gifts
Make a list of all of your gifts, all of the abilities that are especially yours. If you don’t remember what they are then think back to your childhood, adolescence, and early adulthood. What did you enjoy doing? Singing, dancing, drawing? How did you like to express yourself? [...]
One of the most difficult aspects of domestic abuse is that abusers warp reality. By warping reality the abuser is able to deny responsibility for their actions. Victims end up confused, questioning reality, and wondering if they have gone crazy.
Abusers are able to accomplish this distortion of reality by limiting your ability to reality test. [...]
A large component of healing is time. You cannot expect to feel better in an instant. However, time alone is often insufficient for true and lasting healing. Work is also necessary. This may mean working to find a new perspective about an experience. It may mean processing painful thoughts. However, the gift of time helps [...]