October 28th, 2011 Abusers and victims often misunderstand jealousy as a sign of love. Jealously is a feeling that arises when you suspect your partner in a relationship is being unfaithful or when you feel like your rights to something you own are being challenged. Healthy relationships are built on trust. Until you have given a partner a [...]
October 21st, 2011 Healthy relationships proceed at a pace that allows both partners to get to know each other and gradually grow in affection. Abusers often court in a world wind fashion moving things along quickly to living together, engagement or marriage within six months or less. Abusers often pressure victims by stating intense feelings and making the [...]
October 14th, 2011 A common personality trait of abusers is the inability to take responsibility for their problems and ownership for their feelings. Whatever challenges they have in life are the fault of others. At the same time they may attribute others with the power to control their emotions, to make them feel “angry.” This personality trait is [...]
October 8th, 2011 Unrealistic expectations and/ or rigid gender roles–
An abuser will expect his partner to meet his ideal of the perfect wife, mother, lover and friend. He may expect his partner to meet all of his needs. It is unrealistic in a relationship to expect anyone to fit your ideal or meet all your needs. In healthy [...]
September 30th, 2011 Hypersensitivity –
Some abusers are easily insulted. Some claim that their feelings are “hurt” when in reality they are angry. Some abusers take the slightest stumbling block as personal attacks. Be on the look out for anyone that has a huge response that is out of proportion to a situation.
Jena knew Harold was the wrong guy [...]
September 23rd, 2011 Controlling behavior
Early attempts at controlling your behavior are sure signs that as time goes on the attempts to control will only get worse. The key term here is always. The man who surprises you by taking you to his favorite restaurant on one date is not controlling. If he insists on ordering for you despite [...]
September 16th, 2011 From today through the month of October (DV month) I will post early warning signs that the person you are dating may be an abuser.
Verbal aggression or any use of force –
The most obvious indicator that someone is abusive is how he treats the people around him. If the person you are dating tells stories [...]