Things that are ridged, like glass, break under pressure. Things that are flexible, like a tree, stretch and give under pressure so that they can return to their original shape when the pressure has passed. The glass and the tree do not get to choose what they will be but as a person you have [...]
Archive for the 'Contemplations: Examples from the Book' Category
The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget. ~ Thomas S. Szasz
It is not wise to be unable to forgive or forget because the negative feelings you hold on to will only hurt you. It is naive to forgive and forget because like history if we do not remember the past we are likely to repeat it. The wise forgive so that they are free to [...]
We achieve inner health only through forgiveness – the forgiveness not only of others but also of ourselves. ~ Joshua Loth Liebman
Victims often blame themselves for being victims. As long as you are angry with yourself or hold on to self-hatred you are still a victim. In order to be truly free you must not only forgive your abuser but also yourself. This is the key to victory.
Forgive yourself for being a victim so you can [...]
In a domestic violence relationship the abuser has control of your happiness. When you are free you can choose to take back that control by no longer allowing the abuser to have anything to do with your happiness. The only way to do that is to forgive. What can be more annoying to someone who [...]
The longer you focus on the past, the longer you remain stuck there. You cannot make a better future by living in the past. Let go so you can move forward.
Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future. ~ Paul Boese
From: Metamorphosis: Journaling the path from Domestic Violence Victim to [...]
Abusers are predators. Just like predators in the wild they will often look to take advantage of the weak. In the jungle the weak are the very young, the very old, the very sick, and any animal all alone. Although anyone can be a target of a domestic violence abuser, many abusers are on the [...]
Resentment is like a glass of poison that a man drinks; then he sits down and waits for his enemy to die. ~ Unknown
When you hold on to resentment you are only hurting one person, yourself. Your resentment does not have the power to injure anyone but you. What is the point of holding onto resentment if you are the only one who will suffer? That’s right, there is no point. So let go of your resentments before [...]
One stick alone is easily broken. Ten sticks standing together are not. There is strength in numbers. Choose to surround yourself with others so you can all share your strength.
Build a bundle today.
From: Metamorphosis: Journaling the path from Domestic Violence Victim to Victor
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It is so tempting to say bad things about the person who hurt us. We might do it because we want to rally other people to support us. We might do it out of anger, or because no one seems to understand how awful the abuser is to us. What is gained by saying hurtful [...]
Remember, people will judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold — but so does a hard-boiled egg. ~ Anonymous
Feel what you feel, but watch what you do. Although your feelings cannot be controlled the actions you take because of your emotions are in your control. Let your emotions inform, not control your actions. When in doubt talk it out. If you are not sure what to do, talk it over with a trusted [...]