August 10th, 2011 Gaslight(ing)
Gaslight (1940) – Directed by George Cukor and Thorold Dickinson, starring Charles Boyer and Ingrid Bergman. Most domestic violence movies seem to focus on physical violence, this may be because when most people think of domestic violence physical violence is what comes to mind. Or it may be because physical violence is so striking on the big screen. Even for victims who experience physical violence, emotional, and psychological abuse are present and often harder to heal. This movie is the origin of the term “gas-lighting” used to describe the experience when a victim is made to feel as if they are going crazy by their abuser. It tells the story of a young wife whose seemingly devoted husband is manipulating her so that he can get his hands on her money. This classic movie is a wonderful portrayal of the types of mind games that can be used without any threat of physical violence to victimize the vulnerable. If you are a survivor you may recognize some of the techniques from your own experience. It is a great classic film worth viewing.
August 31st, 2011 at 12:58 am
I have suffered so much. I am on the other side of 17 years of abuse and am now very happily re-married. Even so, I can’t stop the nightmares and can completely relate to the above parallel because my abouse was psychological and emotional. I am an educated woman trying to figure out how to heal on the inside. I have wanted to write a book and write my story but I also want to move on & be free. I want to speak to inspire others so they see there is life on the other side but I don’t know where to volunteer….honestly, I don’t know how to heal. Is it to move on? To write? To speak publically? I know it’s different for everyone- I just wish the nightmares would stop, it’s been almost 6 years. Any thoughts?
September 1st, 2011 at 11:51 pm
Congratulations on surviving for 17 years and then finding a way to get physically free. I think therapy is the best way to heal and end, or at least reduce the frequency, of nightmares. The main reason why I wrote my book is to help when therapist don’t know much about domestic abuse and to give victims assistance healing if they can’t go to therapy. I hope you get the healing you need so the nightmares don’t get in the way of your really enjoying your current, non-abusive, marriage. Have you tried therapy?